A while ago I wrote about the organizing principle behind my new blog: ♥ Your Home, ♥ Your Life, ♥ Yourself. This is the first post in an ongoing feature inspired by my mission.
There was a time in my life when I could hardly have a conversation without throwing a few Myers-Briggs letters into the mix. But I finally learned that not everyone shares my passion for personality tests, so now I (mostly) play it cool. But seriously, if you haven’t lost at least one afternoon of your life to this fascinating study, I highly recommend it. (This test is popular.)
After you get your own self sorted (I’m an INFJ—what are you?), of course you should move straight away to pegging all your past loves. Believe me, it will explain a lot. According to the unfortunately named Please Understand Me II, one of the major causes of unhappiness in love comes from misunderstandings between Ns and Ss. (See what I mean? Get me started and I start talking in shorthand.)
Ns are abstract people. Depending on how frustrated you are with them at the moment you might call them “head in the clouds,” “off in space,” or more kindly, “complex.” Ss are more concrete: “down to earth,” “matter of fact,” or the less kind “f-ing bureaucrat.” Anyway, put those two together and ask them to pay a mortgage and raise a kid and yes, there will be issues. I should know. (I think that is the shortest summary of my first marriage I’ve ever given.)
Then you can move on to your kids. I have loved reading and re-reading Nurture by Nature for their kid-specific summaries of personality types. I grant you, it is tricky to figure those cute little moving targets out. But really strong characteristics will make themselves known early on. I remember I just about died the day my daughter, at age 1 I think, took me by the hand after dinner and led me to her crib. She had had enough stimulation for the day, thank you, and was ready for some peace and quiet. Her introverted side made bedtime a breeze—but eating at crowded restaurants was a nightmare!
Yes, the 16 Myers Briggs categories are broad and inclusive, and of course we’re all more nuanced and unique than just 1 out of 16. But other people have always been equal parts fascinating and terrifying to me, and learning about temperament has felt like opening a tiny window to a vast, cavernous room of wonder. It really is true that we all have our own strengths (and weaknesses), and that we’re all needed to make the world go round.
But then again, I would say that. I’m an INFJ after all. ;)
© Amy Daniewicz